The I I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry and too scared to tell you this face to face.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't. They know I'm an Order member. Even those who don't know that, know that I'm close to the Minister. And now it's open war, even more than it has been for the last     heaven knows, for the last decade. My very presence is -- the Inner Circle has to know what they know, and they will act when they will act. But this is escalation, once again. I cannot go anywhere in society without being a bona fide beacon for target practice.

Coward. Wars are lost by the likes of me.

I was looking through the Ministry archives at lunch for ruling precedences of testimony under ostensible duress, and found something interesting about Veritaserum that had actually come up quite a bit earlier.

There is unequivocally an antidote for Veritaserum, and Occlumency is a documented method of protecting oneself from its effects.

Mr Bones, I hope this is not too forward, but -- do you think it would be feasible to produce the antidote in sufficient quantities, possibly for the entire Order?

I suppose it would be a terribly long shot if I try to casually bring up the fact that the weather in the French Riviera is awfully nice already at this time of year, and that nobody can be blamed for wanting to take an extended holiday?

I'm so sorry. And you probably are very tired of hearing both that, and the offer to be of service for anything that you and your family might need, but here is mine anyway.

You reacted very strongly to Mr Podmore's suggestion, and I understand that, though my beliefs in this case run counter to yours; your fiancée's father was also killed only this week. I cannot imagine that it is easy to be in your shoes right now and do not wish to presume, but if you need anyone to talk to, then my ears are open.

If anyone remembers the non-society faces at the wedding and chooses to do something about it, I will never forgive myself. And if Cecil On that front I am irrevocably damned, anyway.

Nora, my dear, I'm going to cut right to the chase, all right?

You have been attacked once, and I'm sure that -- well, everyone has a theory about why. I have no doubt that you are being careful, but there is no such thing as being too careful now that it is clear as day that they are targeting family and loved ones.

And I didn't want to alarm Miriam unduly by including her in this straightaway, as I was not sure if she had any friends associated with the DMLE (I couldn't recall any family in particular). If so, then... she should be warned as well.

I've really run out of tact or the ability to cushion things in nice euphemistic terms, so I'm just going to speak plainly.

Your sister is in the Hitwizard training program, shadowing Mr Sturgis Podmore, who has been quite vocal about his opposition to the Death Eaters and persists in his friendship with Auror Edgar Bones. They have been targeting family members and loved ones recently.

Be careful. Please. I'm very sorry about the Prewetts' disappearance, and I don't want your family to be hit again.

You were suppose to show me around California when this was all ov

Dorcas asked me to pass this along: "Please tell the Order I'm very sorry too. And that I still believe in them, that they'll have a victory, no matter how long it takes."

Dorcas also asked me to say this to everyone at Caer Dubh, but I don't know how wise it would be to just ward to everyone. She says that you don't necessarily have to keep her things in her room, but in the third dresser drawer from the bottom, there is a photograph of her and John Dawlish that she does not want to be just tossed aside. As for the books, she says that they could go to Mr Zeller.

There's also a message to Peadar which I'm not sure how to pass along. May I ward to him directly?

You've been charged with the mission to never forget to remind Mr Podmore of his, I quote, "ickle bunny"-like nature.

"Tell Sturgis he'll always be an ickle bunny." And if Sirius never stops calling you that, you know who to blame.

And if the DMLE is able to get into contact with her father -- she expressed wishes to be buried in the family graveyard is in Sutherland, near her brother's home.

We have never really conversed, Mr MacDougal, and I am deeply sorry that the first time we do converse is in such circumstances. But I was one of Dorcas' friends, and she entrusted me with a fin final message to you, in the event of her death.

She never meant to do this to you, and she hopes that you can forgive her.

How are y

I hope

Focus. I've been selfish for too long, and too immersed in personal     ups-and-downs. Over-thinking is not going to lead to anywhere good. Being distracted is a luxury afforded to other people in different times.

A minimum of secrets if we can help it, right? So.

I'm going to be out with Sirius tonight: he has received news of such a nature that when he asked, I could not and did not wish to say no. This will be the last time; I do not wish to, and I will not, put you in any more awkward positions as your wife than I already have as your fiancée.

... heavens that looks remarkably awkward on paper. I lo I love you. I don't want to lie, and you deserve to know. I'm so incredibly sorry if you're upset -- and of course you have every right to be -- but I've given my word, and this one more time, I've no intention of breaking it.

I don't even know What the hell is

Morgana reincarnate can go shoot You-Know-Who with a pistol tomorrow and I probably won't even blink at this point.

You     stupid rash little boy, Regulus. In case anyone needed the reminder, here it is: clearly you and Sirius are brothers.



Dear Circe you would think that they might give me a head's-up that there are other pairs of eyes in society. That's not even to mention among the Death Eater themselves.

Yes, well. That'd go miles in reassuring Cecil.


Four d

Sirius?

Hi. I understand if, after the incredibly awkward situation I inadvertently put you in, you should never wish to even speak to me again -- but may I, unreasonably and selfishly and utterly without expectations regarding your answer (if you even answer, which you are certainly not by any means obliged to), pose one last question to you?

I'm so sorry about last night.

Miriam? Are you still up?

Is it too much to ask that the good people should not be in mortal peril every single day? Is it too much to ask for a respite from a streak of everything that could go wrong indeed going very wrong? Would you have me go to matins every morning and vespers every night, throw myself into a nunnery to atone?

I don't even

Fine. Fine, the point has been made. And I am tired and this is cruel and there is a war on and Cecil knows -- something. He knows something is wrong, that I have secrets, that     I don't know what he thinks he knows. And I don't know what to do or what to say to him or how to talk to him or how to even look at him and

how am I supposed to marry him

should I give the ring back? Is that the right thing to do?

I don't know when you'll see this and I don't want to be annoying and have this chime or ring or something. Just -- when you see this please let me know that you're safe. I can only hope that you are, and not consider the alternative right now.

Death Eaters and vampires attacked Quidditch matches tonight. And     my friend -- Nora, who got us tickets to a match that time -- she's in St Mungo's. The Minister's given me leave to be here until I'm not a mes the Healers know if sh.

If you bel If you believe in God, please     pray.

Apropos of nothing, can I ask an utterly daft question that really has nothing to do with anything, which you are not at all obliged to answer or even bother reading, just -- nod and smile (figuratively at that) while I try to sort some things out?

Stupid question(s?), if you're around.

I don't want to raise idle concern and cause much ado over nothing, but it's probably best that you hear this, in either case. Lily, we were at Little Hangleton the night that Benjy was killed -- and this is purely speculation, but there is always the possibility that "being seen" around the area might have led to Doc & Charity's murder tonight. And we didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, I know, but -- well.

You're taking the utmost care now, I have no doubt about that, and chances are this has occurred to you as well. But still -- just. Be careful.

I feel like the box is staring at me, by the way, though that might be because it's sitting there on my table. You really must see it and thus be forewarned, Cecil; I wish I were joking.

There is so much that is so awful going on, every single day, so I think that between all the worrying about safety and all the condolences that must be expressed and all the thanks that must be given for close calls -- well, you might appreciate being able to unreservedly laugh at me. That is the task I have set for myself today.

So: ladies, would you like to see my veil?

I do not labour under the impression that whatever words anyone can say right now will put anything to right once more, but I am truly so sorry for what has transpired. If there is any way in which I might be of service, please, please simply say the word.

Ladies, I must apologise for how affected I was by the unfortunate turn of events this afternoon, which I am certain you must now be acquainted with. I am sorry for not speaking of what I had become aware of so shortly before joining you all, and I am sorry for this deceit that I might have practised this afternoon.

Especially I must apologise to you, my dear. Thank you so much for everything you have helped me with thus far, and especially for playing hostess this afternoon. I truly do appreciate it so much, and I'm afraid I've been negligent in letting you know that.

Thirty-six days.

Between work and keeping up with the Order and beginning to look into Charms and refreshment finalisations and fittings and everything, I can't quite understand how there is only -- well. Five weeks left.

Apropos of absolutely nothing, there is an utterly ill-timed question that must be asked and answered before it becomes even more ill-timed. Heaven knows with everything going on, it has slipped my mind entirely.

Have you thought about where to go? For the h After the ceremony, I mean.

Sorry, this is so very unceremonious. I seem to not have any tact left either, aside from irreverence.

I'm not sure how much attention this is going to get or how widely-known it already might be, but yesterday, new legislation was proposed before the Wizengamot to enact a curfew for the full three nights of each full moon cycle.

If it passes, it would at least go some lengths to address the problem of not being able to patrol all communities with even a hint of Wizarding presence. There might be some protests in the name of civil liberties, but honestly even at this preliminary stage, I can't imagine it not passing.

As far as being on watch at Little Hangleton last night went, Lily and I did not come across anyone terribly suspect making an appearance -- just some understandably concerned Muggle neighbours.

I'm afraid I don't have any irreverence left.

Hastily added after this, charmed to play the Hogwarts school song until read.
And I don't think you'd be there for any reason anyway but STAY OUT OF OTTERY ST CATCHPOLE TONIGHT.